


Too Many Sick Mortals

by sophies_burntbacon



Series: Avengers Sick-fics [10]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Food Poisoning, Gen, Not Canon Compliant, Other, Poisoning, Protective Thor (Marvel), Requested, Sick Bruce Banner, Sick Clint Barton, Sick Loki (Marvel), Sick Natasha Romanov, Sick Tony Stark, Sickfic, Thor is Not Stupid (Marvel), Thor is a Good Bro (Marvel), Vomiting, but not really, technically food poisoning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:06:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28686078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophies_burntbacon/pseuds/sophies_burntbacon
Summary: Natasha just wanted to prove that when she tried, she was actually a half-decent cook.And she would've, had she not accidentally put in Russian poison instead of a "dash of my special spices."Needless to say, the Avengers were very lucky she only put in the tiniest pinch, but even so, Tony, Natasha, Clint, Bruce and even Loki found themselves extremely sick.
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Thor, Clint Barton & Steve Rogers, Loki & Thor (Marvel), Natasha Romanov & Avengers Team, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Thor, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark, Thor & Avengers Team
Series: Avengers Sick-fics [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1823893
Kudos: 68





	Too Many Sick Mortals

**Author's Note:**

> This one is a bit of a prequel to Loki's First (and Last) Mission but not really :)
> 
> And I am so sorry but for the plot, Natasha always keeps poison with her. At the time of the original post, I just wanted to post something. Please just let me have this.
> 
> As always, I'm on Wattpad under Sophies_Burnt_Bacon (where there are a lot more Avengers sickfics published) and I'm still taking requests here or there xx

Natasha just wanted to prove that when she tried, she was actually a half-decent cook.

And she would've, had she not accidentally put in Russian poison instead of a "dash of my special spices."

Needless to say, the Avengers were very lucky she only put in the tiniest pinch, but even so, Tony, Natasha, Clint, Bruce and even Loki found themselves extremely sick.

———

Clint was cold. Shivering in fact. Something was very off but he wasn't quite sure what. He asked Jarvis to turn up the heating as he felt his eyes closing and his mind drifting back to sleep.

Tony wasn't quite sure, but he definitely was coming down with something. It was probably time to get ready to hide out in his room for a few days then. He had been thinking how lucky he'd been, not getting sick while any of the Avengers were around. He'd jinxed himself.

Bruce hadn't been sick in a long time but he knew how it felt. He curled onto his side, cold and achey and asked Jarvis to turn up the heating. Then, when he felt it was warm enough to leave the warmth of his bed, he staggered into the bathroom and took two fever reducers and went back to bed to sleep it off.

Natasha woke and saw quietly to herself. She recognised this. She'd poisoned herself. She must have mixed up the bottles of her spices and her poison. So that's was why people always sniff their spices before adding them, she thought.

Loki didn't get mortal diseases. He was sure of it. Thor didn't, so why should he? This stomach ache was a result of his eating disgusting mortal food and nothing more. A voice at the back of his mind suggested he was a different species to Thor but he shrugged it off. He'd make some sort of herbal tonic tomorrow if he still didn't feel great.

———

Steve and Thor were the only Avengers who turned up to training. This was odd, because while Tony often skipped due to being in his lab, Clint and Natasha would always be there, as would Bruce, if only so that he understood any new tricks they learnt. Loki would generally turn up of his own volition but occasionally, he elected not to come if he was feeling particularly murderous.

"Thor, we organised training, right?"

"Of course! I would not be here if we had not!" Steve nodded to himself. They'd already waited fifteen minutes, where was everyone? Clint was always the latest at ten minutes max and Natasha had never been late. Loki and Bruce were wildcards and Tony would always turn up sooner or later.

Generally later.

"We should go and check on them," Steve decided and the two blonds went in search of their friends.

Thor approached Bruce's room first and did not find the doctor. It wasn't until he heard the sound of retching that it occurred to him to check the bathroom. Bruce was kneeling by the toilet, throwing up and looking exceptionally pale. He looked somewhat relieved to see Thor and allowed the demigod to help him up and offer him water. Thor looked more than a little out of his depth but was pleased to find Bruce was easy to look after and asked for what he needed.

Thor eventually decided to help Bruce into the living room area, where he would have slightly better lighting and it wouldn't be quite so warm as the scientist's bedroom. He fetched two blankets for Bruce, who looked a little embarrassed but mostly thankful and said he would check on Loki before coming back to Bruce.

———

Steve did not encounter the same ease as Thor. Tony was sleeping on the far side of his bed in a room that was far too warm. The side closer to Steve was foul smelling and, upon closer inspection, was actually a puddle of Tony's vomit. Steve thanked Pepper that all the bedrooms had hardwood floors instead of carpet and, after asking Jarvis to turn down the heat, quickly cleaned up the puddle. Then, he had to deal with Tony.

Despite Steve's movements around the bedroom for the past 15 minutes, Tony had not woken up. The minute he touched the scientist, however, Tony gasped and sat up looking as though he'd been woken from a nightmare. Pale, sweat drenched and with dilated pupils, Tony undoubtedly looked worse for wear.

After a couple of times repeating the mans' name, Tony's eye's finally locked on Steve.

"My stomach hurts," he said quietly, "I'm gonna- I'm going to throw up." Steve nodded, quickly stepping back and looking around for some kind of bucket. The bin under Tony's desk looked adequate so Steve grabbed it and gave it to him, hoping none of the three scruched up paper balls were important. Tony promptly threw up and eyed the bin with revulsion, his eyes less crazy and alert than before.

"What happened?" Steve asked gently, worry seeping into his tone as he watched his friend reach for the glass of water by his bed, only to find it empty.

Steve shook his head to clear it and took the glass to refill it in Tony's ensuite. When he returned, Tony drained the glass and finally looked calm enough to answer Steve's question.

"Some sort of stomach bug, I think."

Steve refiled the glass and, seeing as Tony looked ok to be left on his own for a few minutes, went to check on Clint.

———

Loki's door was locked. Not just with a lock but also with magic. He did it every night to "ensure idiots like Barton don't interrupt my sleep."

Unfortunately, due to a certain amount of vomiting throughout the night, Loki's strength had failed and the magical lock was about as strong as the door itself and even Thor, despite his minimal magical ability, was able to break through it. The door itself was easy to unlock when he asked Jarvis.

Finally in the room, Thor was extremely upset to find Loki had actually begun to lose control of his appearance with his red eyes a stark contrast to their usual bright green. Upon seeing his brother, Loki hissed a curse, his pale skin flooded over him to hide the blue and Thor hastily retreated. Loki wasn't in too bad of a condition, but must have been affected by whatever Banner had, Thor decided.

Thor elected to use the same approach as his mother had often used when Loki was sick and left items outside his door so Loki could treat himself. A hydrating tablet, glass of water, a fair few herbs he knew would help with nausea and other illnesses and a note could be found outside Loki's door not ten minutes later.

Brother  
Currently I am unaware of what illness you are suffering, but all the mortals except Captain Rogers are also suffering from it so we will find out soon. I have left these items to help in your recovery and will find more specific plants when we know what is wrong. Dr Banner also says this tablet will help hydrate you if you dissolve it in water. Please call for me if needed.  
Your brother,  
Thor

Thor also elected to leave a smiley face next to his last words, an 'emote' taught to him by Barton which he was very proud of.

———

Steve found Clint dead asleep in his bed. Jarvis said Clint, too, had been sick but that unless he woke up, he ought to continue sleeping as his solution to this, like all other sicknesses, was to sleep through it. Steve decided to leave a hydration tablet next to his bed with a glass of water and asked Jarvis to inform Clint of the situation if anything progressed.

With Clint seemingly under control, Steve found himself outside Natasha's room.

He knocked tentatively and when he heard no response, let himself in. Natasha was nowhere to be seen, however Steve had a little more initiative than Thor and made his way straight to the bathroom.

Of course, Steve was right, and he wished he wasn't. Natasha was curled into herself on the bathroom floor shivering. She was asleep but Steve was sure it couldn't be any sort of rest.

"Natasha, Nat, hey," he whispered, gently shaking her shoulder. The assassins eyes slowly opened and, as Steve had predicted, she was too out of it to even attempt her usual ritual of beating up anyone who woke her suddenly.

"Steve?" She asked blearily, eyes struggling to stay open and focus on the super soldier.

"How about I get you into bed?"

Natasha nodded slowly and when Steve picked her up bridal style, remembered a vital piece of information. "Steve," she started, "Steve I poisoned the Avengers." She finished with a guilty moan, as though the reality of her decision was just sinking in.

"What? I- Natasha are you sure?"

"Yeah... I used the wrong bottle. I poisoned everyone. Not a lot of poison but it's really strong. It shouldn't kill anyone but it's going to make people sick," Natasha said, her eyes scrunching up against the light as they moved into her bedroom.

"Ok, Natasha, do you know an antidote?" Steve asked carefully.

"There isn't- wait, why aren't you sick?"

Steve was quiet for a minute. "I didn't eat very much. And I guess my metabolism took care of the rest?"

Natasha nodded sleepily and Steve took the opportunity to really look at her. She was deathly pale and had a light sheen of sweat over her skin. Even in his arms, she was shaking slightly and the bags under her eyes suggested that she certainly hadn't slept very well.

"Think you can manage some water? I'll make soup later if that's ok too?" He offered the sick woman.

"Water could be alright. Steve I'm really sorry, you shouldn't have to look after me, this is my fault. Please just go and check on the others," Natasha said, curling in on herself and cringing away from Steve.

"Natasha I've already seen to them, Jarvis will tell me if anyone gets worse. Right now, you're my priority. Just relax, ok?" Steve said as he set Natasha down in her bed, "look, just tell me what you need, no one blames you for this."

"I do," Natasha replied miserably.

"Yeah, but you don't count. Let me get you some water, ok? And you said this is poison, so do you have an antidote or...?"

Natasha slowly shook her head, looking as though she regretted it a second after, "no antidote, just gotta wear it-" she pressed a hand to her mouth, blanching slightly.

Steve handed her a bin but she still kept her lips tightly closed. "Natasha. If you've got to let it wear off then I imagine getting it out of your stomach will help. Throw it up," he ordered.

Natasha went to shake her head again and found herself vomiting a second later. She finally stopped and fell back against her pillows looking exhausted. There was a sheen of sweat over her and even her cheeks were bloodless, looking all the more pale for her flaming red hair. Steve pressed his glass of water into her hand, hoping the hydration tablet in it would help.

"Drink it."

"No," Natasha groaned, but gave in after Steve ordered her to drink it again.

"Steve just- go check on someone else. Please. I shouldn't be your priority when this is my-" Natasha stopped herself, cringing at Steve's glare before vomiting into the bin. Little was she to realise that the glare was not for being ill or for poisoning everyone, but rather for her failure to accept help.

Steve almost replied to her when she finally stopped retching. He was rubbing circles on her back and trying to reassure her when Jarvis interrupted. "Captain Rogers, Mr Stark requires your help immediately," the British AI claimed. Immediately wasn't a word Jarvis often used, as Tony hated to be told what he had to do when so Steve knew it was important.

Natasha, slightly out of it in her fever deluded mind, missed Steve's apology for leaving and only registered him rushing out the door to Tony.

———

Tony was collapsed on the ground, apparently attempting to get to the bathroom rather than throw up in the bin Steve had so graciously provided for him. Just like Natasha, he was suffering a fever a few degrees too high and as a result, was a little delusional.

Steve rushed to the scientist's side and started trying to help him up, but Tony suddenly recoiled.

"No, no, no, get away from me!" He yelled, his voice rising in pitch as he attempted to feebly push Steve away.

"Tony, Tones. Hey, what's up? What wrong? Talk to me, yeah?" Steve asked keeping his voice quiet, friendly and free of the worry he was feeling.

Tony was half up by this point and managed to push himself away from Steve. "I need- I need air," he gasped and Steve realised he was having a panic attack, made all the worse because of Tony's fever.

"Alright Tony. I need you to breath, ok? With me, breath in," Steve paused, making an exaggerated breath in, "breath out."

It took a little while but Tony gradually began following Steve's instructions, the dilation of his pupils shrinking down a little and his breathing became less irate.

Jarvis, who'd been programmed for cases of Tony's panic attacks, did not alert Steve when Clint woke up and made his way to the kitchen, but merely adjusted the lighting to Tony's preferred settings.

In fact, it was Thor who found Clint wandering about the kitchen looking curiously at the rumpled mop of hair on top of the couch. "Who's that?" Clint stage whispered.

Thor, ever confused by the mortals, cocked his head slightly and whispered back, "Dr Banner?"

Clint faked a gasp, the backside of one hand against his forehead, the other holding his blanket around his shoulders like a cloak, "we've been infiltrated!"

Anyone else would have been assumed mental, or at the very least, delirious, but Clint was just Clint.

Clint claimed he was feeling a lot better, almost fully persuading Thor, before vomiting into the kitchen sink. The demigod forced the spy to the couch and gave him the remote, as Bruce still seemed to be asleep and he probably would have stayed with the two Avengers, had Jarvis not alerted him to Loki.

Apparently the frost giant was having a nightmare and with everything else going on as well, his powers were forcing Jarvis to shut down in his room. Thor quickly left the kitchen and found himself smashing through the door to reach his brother's aid.

And Loki's room was a disaster zone. A snow storm was ripping through it, Loki was fully transformed into a frost giant and still asleep, unmoving and seemingly unworried, save the small frown of his mouth and crease in his eyebrows.

"Loki!" Thor roared, attempting to reach his brother through the blizzard. It might have only been his imagination but suddenly the force of the snow lessened and he made his way towards his brother.

"Loki!" He hissed, shaking the ice cold giant. Loki opened his bright red eyes, blinking them into focus before they widened at the sight of the chaos. The storm cut off in an instant and normal colour returned to his skin.

A small frown on his lips, Loki shrugged off Thor's arm and turned away, unwilling to face any sort of reprimand or, worse, apology of Thor. "What might I do to aid you, Brother?" Thor asked instead. Caught off guard, Loki blinked, hoping his shock wasn't too evident.

"Some water?" He asked, cautiously pleased with his brother. And indeed, Thor fetched him water and sat quietly while he drank it and provided a bucket when Loki needed it.

———

With Tony and Natasha both constantly needed his help, and Thor nowhere to be found, Steve found himself moving both Avengers into the living room. He'd gone first with Tony, allowing him to walk with one arm around Steve for support and to his surprise, he found both Bruce and Clint on the couch asleep.

Tony, afraid to sleep, convinced Steve to give him a tablet and headphones so he could watch a movie without disturbing them. The scientist happily set himself up on the couch, a bin nearby and a promise not to leave said couch unless Steve said he could.

Natasha was a little bit more difficult to relocate. She was asleep when Steve reached her room but jolted awake when he was only a few steps away. Registering immediately that it was Steve, her face flushed and she looked away.

"Nat. Natasha. Come on, I promise it's fine, no one blames you. Nat, I just want to help," Steve tried but Natasha refused to respond.

He tried for a different tactic. "Nat, you're weak enough right now that if we fought, I'd win for sure, do you really want to fight me?"

A muted "no" was all the response he needed and suddenly, Natasha was being scooped up, along with her doona, into Steve's arms.

Rather than attempt to escape, Natasha froze up, her face flushing even more. "Are you going to throw up?" Steve asked.

The smallest of nods was his response so Steve set her down on the bed and fetched a bin for her, which the woman promptly filled with half-digested liquid.

Despite the short length of her hair, Steve still formed it into a sort of ponytail and held it back to ensure it didn't get at all touched by the vomit. She'll want a shower later a voice in the back of his mind said, but Steve elected to ignore it, seeing as he didn't want to leave Natasha alone right now but also wanted to preserve her modesty.

Finally, he managed to get her into the living room, only to see Bruce standing by the sink, vomiting. Clint was right by him, rubbing his back and holding a glass of water away from him. Steve placed Natasha as gently as he could on the couch before rushing over to aid the scientist.

"Thanks, Clint, I'll take it from here."

"Cap, it's fine. I'm fully alright. Nat's poisoned me more than a few times, I'm building up a tolerance!" And Clint seemed so pleased with this announcement that Steve felt he had no right to say that a tolerance to poison wasn't something to be proud of.

———

Hours later, it was clear Clint was actually fine, Bruce was still sleeping it off but seemed relatively ok. Natasha and Tony both looked exhausted but the scientist refused to sleep, despite the shaking in his fingers and Natasha had given in to her exhaustion, but still had large dark bags bellow her eyes.

A stray thought caught Steve in thinking that Natasha ought to have built up a tolerance to poison like Clint, but the male spy said Natasha refused to take poison when she saw it, whereas he never noticed it.

It was some time before Natasha managed to rouse herself again, vomiting into a nearby bin that Steve quickly whisked away. Tony, eyes fever bright and skin several shades too pale, suggested a movie night and the four sick Avengers squabbled for a while before finally accepting that Steve ought to see the Star Wars prequels.

They only made it through one movie, worn out as they all were, and it was only interrupted twice, once when Natasha vomited and once when Loki and Thor showed up.

Thor, much to everyone's surprise, had actually spent a large part of the day asleep on Loki's bed after sending his brother back to sleep. It seemed Thor's presence was enough to ward of Loki's fevered nightmares and the blond demigod was always happy to sleep wherever and whenever he could.

So it might have taken a few more days to remove the poison from Natasha and Tony but in the end, they were all ok, so no harm done! Now to just convince Natasha that it was fine...


End file.
